Only Children Are Not Doomed

In the home school I’m running here in quarantine, recess starts at 9:30 a.m. sharp. My two kids go outside while I watch them through a window on conference calls. Every day, I spend about half the time thinking it’s so great they have each other (during the game “try to distract mom”) and half the time forcibly separating them (during the game “fight with sticks”).

I am not the only parent who has a new appreciation for the value of siblings, but I’m also not the only one who has noticed new downsides. I’d be able to focus more on home school learning goals if I was only teaching one child. On the flip side, having two children ensures at least some non-adult socialization.

The coronavirus pandemic has created a lot of confusion, but it also may bring into focus a question many parents (or expectant parents) ask: What is the right number of kids for my family? Quarantine or not, having siblings shapes one’s experiences and development. On balance, is this for good or for ill?

Historically, experts have fallen into two camps about the value of siblings. Some focus on the fact that a larger family means fewer resources for investment in each child, meaning time or money spent on education or other kinds of training (not to mention diapers, cribs and clothing). Yes, this is how economists talk about parenting; no one has ever accused us of being warm and fuzzy. As we see it, more children means less time and money to focus on each one.

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