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A question about when to stop breastfeeding: I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home while my spouse watches our baby, so I could continue nursing until he starts pre-K, but that feels kind of extreme! I’ve been saying that I’ll continue for as long as he and I are both finding it a positive experience, but that feels murky. Given our culture’s sexualization of breasts, I’m a bit worried about causing some sort of psychological damage. Is there any data on the effects of breastfeeding toddlers or on the latest time I should stop?
—Not Raising Baby Oedipus
An interesting (by which I mean terrible) aspect of breastfeeding is that people will judge you if you do too little and if you do too much. Unless you are a breastfeeding Goldilocks (which I guess means one year exactly), you get the side-eye. The latest American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines on breastfeeding, which I dislike in a lot of ways, are helpful in their efforts to normalize “extended” breastfeeding.
In many places around the world, people do breastfeed for much longer. Globally and historically, breastfeeding until the age of 3 or 4 wasn’t uncommon. By older ages, kids are getting nutrients in other ways, but breastfeeding can provide comfort and routine.
The evidence-based benefits of breastfeeding are largely early in life; benefits to NICU babies include a slightly lower risk of gastrointestinal illnesses in the first month. There is no plausibly causal evidence that longer-term breastfeeding has significant benefits, but that’s not really your point! There is also no evidence to suggest you should worry about psychological damage. Given how widespread this behavior is globally, it doesn’t seem like a central concern.
I think your approach, while “murky,” is kind of perfect. As long as you both find it a positive experience, you should do it. Once one of you doesn’t — and you may be the first to go — then it’s time to quit. One cautionary note: It can be quite hard to wean an older toddler, since the behavior is more ingrained, and they can more easily express what they want. If and when you are ready to do this, you may need to think carefully about the approach.
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