Wins, Woes, and “The Old You”

Wins and Woes is our community newsletter — a place for your stories and questions, where you can connect directly with other ParentData readers.

It’s the first anniversary of Wins and Woes! I created this space in the newsletter last April for parents to share their stories and feel less alone. It’s been amazing to see what’s unfolded. Like good data, a kind community can make a big difference in our parenting journey. Not everything is in the research, and learning from one another is how we make it through.

To celebrate, we have three wins today. And a question about navigating a bachelorette party as a new mom, when you don’t feel like the same person as you did before your baby.

Standing Ovation

I enjoyed an entire, hot cup of coffee while my baby napped and my toddler pooped on the potty. It was glorious.

Dairy-Happy Mama

My now 1-year-old had a severe case of allergic colitis. I had to cut all cow’s milk protein and soy protein for 12 weeks before we went more than a day without blood in her diaper. The early days were scary — I had never even heard of CMPA [cow’s milk protein allergy]. After, she was still very sensitive if I accidentally consumed any hidden dairy or soy in my food.

It was so hard, but hypoallergenic formulas are not available in Guatemala where I live, so it was the choice we had. Our pediatrician recommended trying to reintroduce dairy through my milk when she turned 1. I was hesitant, but she had no issues! It was the most delicious bite of pizza I have had, and she sure is enjoying a less restricted diet herself. Her first tastes of yogurt were a big win!

Bath Buddies

We recently bought a house (in East Providence, Rhode Island — hi, Emily!) and finally have a full bathtub. My 19-month-old was scared of it at first, so I hopped in with him, but it was so nice that I’ve continued doing it even since he’s been comfortable! It’s a great way for us to have some deeply connected time after I’ve worked, and it’s a really nice sensory reset for me after a long day.

This week’s reader question

An illustration of three women standing by a pool for a party, with the one in the middle pumping and looking stressed.

Rachel Deutsch

I need some advice from the ParentData community on this one. I’m a new mom to a four-month old and I am going to my dear friend’s bachelorette party next weekend. I am a nervous, anxious, emotional wreck about it. Not because I’ll be away from my baby (I mean, I’m not excited about that part) but because I honestly just don’t feel like “the old me.” I’m worried about the logistics of pumping and my supply. I’m sad that my body won’t look the same in a bathing suit. I’m nervous about how much I’ll miss my baby and the fact that no one will understand (only mom in the group). How do I put these fears to rest and try to enjoy myself? Is it even possible?

—Not a Bachelorette