Wins, Woes, and Superheroes

It’s the wins and woes for this week. If you are currently pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or the parent of an older kid, we’d love to hear from you too.

Nevertheless, she persisted

—Jade

My son Finn (just turned 2) has always favored his daddy over me, especially after the arrival of baby #2. He sometimes literally pushed me off the couch when I tried to sit with him and his daddy, saying, “No, Mama! Move!” I would hide in the closet and cry after each of these moments, often multiple times per day. But I persisted in trying to have special Finn-and-mama time, picking him up from day care even when exhausted; playing his favorite rough-and-tumble games even though it often ended with him kicking my sore, engorged boobs; and keeping my smile big for him even when he rejected me. It’s been paying off. In the past two weeks, he’s been blowing me air kisses and even picking me (instead of daddy) to read his favorite book to him. I’m exhausted but brimming with hope.

H2-No

—Sincerely, the parent of a probably stinky kid

My four-month-old HATES baths with a raging fury. You’d think he would have positive memories from his recent time floating in the sensory deprivation tank of the womb. Alas. We’ve tried everything — baths in a full bathtub, baths in just an inch of water, showering with us, sink baths, baby bathtub baths, various water temperatures. We even tried an outside bath, and honestly that one went the best, but there were still tears all around. Our pediatrician says he’ll just have to get over it and the more we bathe him the quicker that will happen. Right now we bathe him about once a week because he’s not that dirty and we all hate the experience. I want him to love the water as much as we do — we live by the ocean, for heaven’s sake. Oh lord, what will he smell like as a teenager if this never gets better??

Even heroes need sleep

—A Superhero’s Mom

My 3.5-year-old son is in a major superhero phase. He changes multiple times in a day into his different interpretations of what the superhero wears “when they’re not wearing their suit.” I love his creativity and experimentation with different expressions of his (secret) identity. But this has turned into a major struggle at bedtime, where he puts on one pajama, and when we leave the room for him to go to sleep, we hear him opening and shutting his drawers to change a bunch of times. Last night we implemented a rule of no more changing after lights-out, which kicked off a rollercoaster tantrum that lasted around 45 minutes as he tried different tactics to get what he wanted. I know the boundaries will get easier as we stick to them, but it was just heartbreaking as he looked at me with tears in his eyes saying, “Mama, please can I be Captain America?”